Jail Statistics

According to the American Jail Association (http://www.aja.org/), the inmate population in U.S. jails has declined for the second consecutive year. The stat announced by the U.S. Justice Department's Bureau of Justice Statistics revealed that the overall jail population declined by 2.4 percent in the 12 months ending June 30, 2010, dropping from 767,434 to 748,728.

Not Exactly a Clean Getaway

In a southern New Jersey town, police officers responded to a store on a report of a shoplifter. A description of the suspect and his apparel was given, and not long afterward an officer detained a person wearing the described clothes, walking not far from the store.

The officer found that the suspect was carrying two 100-ounce bottles of laundry detergent in a bag from a different store, although the suspect had no receipt for their purchase.

Upon being arrested the suspect said that in retrospect he should have hidden in the woods for twenty minutes because he saw all of the police cars in the area.

A store employee confirmed that the suspect was the shoplifter. The employee said she had seen him come into the store, empty handed, and walk up an aisle. He came back down the aisle, sweatshirt bulging with something, and walked out of the store.

She also said that she had been wondering who had been stealing all of the Tide.

The Hoboken 500

As the Memorial Day holiday approaches, a news item indicates that the Indianapolis Motor Speedway encompasses more more area than Hoboken, and that it has 60 percent more full-time employees than does Hoboken.

What caused Hoboken to be selected as the city to which the Speedway was to be compared is not known to us, but this same news items tells us that come race day this Sunday the Speedway will have about seven times the number of “residents” than Hoboken.

Let's hope that traffic moves more sedately in Hoboken this weekend than it does on the iconic Speedway.

Ladies and Gentlemen, Start Your Engines!

Can You Hear Me Now?

In the news today is a report that police in Jersey City are investigating terroristic threats made to Dickinson High School from a public pay phone.

This is an astounding story. There is still a public pay phone someplace?

Ya Think?

Here’s one for Jay Leno’s "Headlines" feature. In our local newspaper this week appeared the following headline:

Bearded Man Steals Razors

The accompanying article reported that "a tall, burly, bearded man" stole $658 worth of razors and blades from a nearby Walgreen’s store.

The article explained that the man cased the place for several minutes before filling a shopping basket with the shaving supplies and placing the basket near the front door. He then went through the security detector gate, reached around the gate and grabbed his loot, so as to evade the anti-theft alarm system.

It was further stated that police are looking for a 6-foot 3- or 4-inch man with a large frame, who drives a silver Honda. The article then concluded with this howler:

"He may or may not have a beard at this time."

Shop with the Stars

From the Police Blotter:

A discount-store employee asked for the sheriff office’s help in getting a woman out of his store. She had been there for several hours and said she was waiting for George Clooney and Pete Townshend.

Who?

Pull Over! Oh, never mind...

Florida police this past Monday arrested championship-winning motorcycle racer James “Bubba” Stewart for impersonating a police officer after the 25-year-old flashed red and blue lights at a car full of real cops.

Stewart and a friend illuminated illegal flashing police lights on Stewart's customized Toyota Tundra and pulled over a car near the Orlando International Airport, not far from Stewart's Florida home.

Unfortunately for Stewart and his friend, the car was occupied by two off-duty Florida Highway Patrol officers and a county deputy sheriff. According to police reports, Stewart pulled his Tundra alongside the car, at which point the officers then lowered their car's window and flashed their badges. Stewart reportedly extinguished the flashing lights immediately and sped off toward the airport.

The officers notified additional real police, and they located and arrested Bubba and his buddy at the airport. Stewart was charged with impersonating an officer, and his friend was charged with tampering with evidence, as police reported that the red and blue lights – which Stewart said he bought at a flea market – had been removed and stowed in the friend's luggage.

According to a published report, Stewart earns an estimated $10 million annually. He has been generously involved in charity work, but perhaps he could use a little of that money to hire someone who will give him a dope slap the next time he tries something dumb.