Tuesday, October 17, 2017

Some People Just Want to Go to the Super Bowl


In Iowa recently, a brief car chase ended with a distinct twist.

On Interstate 80 near Des Moines, an Iowa State Patrol trooper attempted to pull over the driver of a Chevrolet Malibu for a simple traffic violation – an expired registration.  But the driver refused to pull over, and the chase was on.  More troopers joined the pursuit, which ended when one of the troopers executed a PIT maneuver.

The driver was then apprehended without further incident, and a search of the car produced nothing of any consequence.

But the arresting troopers were taken aback by the reason the driver gave for running:  He told them that he wanted to be chased because “it was on his bucket list.”

“In my 28 years, I’ve never heard that excuse,” Sgt. Scott Bright told a reporter.

While the driver can now cross that one off his list, to the extent that any of the following were on his list, he can cross them off, too:  DWI, eluding, interference with official acts, operation without registration, unlawful use of license, speeding, and a parole violation.

Friday, March 10, 2017

Back to the Beach... One Last Time


It is a bit melodramatic to call it a “dying wish,” but a 78-year-old woman here in New Jersey who is in hospice care with a terminal diagnosis of acute leukemia recently told her family that she would like to “go to the shore” one last time.

So she did.  With the help of a police officer in the oceanfront town of Ship Bottom.


For those readers not from this area, “going to the shore” is a regional phrase for what the rest of the country calls going to the beach.  But one does not go down to the shore.  The correct terminology is “down the shore.”

The family of Patricia Kelly, who spent countless summers vacationing at the shore, knew that she would not be able to walk onto the beach herself, so they asked the Ship Bottom Police Department for some help.  Which is how it came to be that Patrolman Ronald Holloway drove one of the agency’s SUVs across the sand recently, taking Kelly to the water’s edge.  There she was able to enjoy some time with her granddaughters, have a group hug with family and friends, and, looking out at the ocean, say goodbye to a place she loves.

Kelly was deeply appreciative, telling a reporter “they could have taken me right then, and I would have been the happiest person,” she said. “That's my place.”  Alluding to her desire to have her ashes spread on the beach, she added “I'll be there forever.”

The family conducted a prayer circle, and Officer Holloway participated.  The officer, clearly moved by the entire experience,  told a television reporter that “being able to take her out for this ride on the beach was a life-moving experience.  It was a checkmark in my career for sure.”

The family had nothing but praise for Officer Holloway, posting a message on the Ship Bottom Police Department’s Face book page that read “A BIG SHOUT OUT to Officer Ronald Holloway... he is a man who not only protects and serves but genuinely cares... his extraordinary kindness and character speaks volumes of the man he is.”



Thursday, March 9, 2017

Liar, Liar... (you know the rest)



To be filed under “You Can’t Make This Stuff Up” is this news headline from this week:

Lawyer’s Pants Catch Fire During Trial

The report, sufficiently weird as to be dismissed as false, was confirmed to NBC News by the Public Relations Director for the Eleventh Circuit Court in Florida.

To be fair, the story contained no information that would call into question the attorney’s truthfulness.  Instead, it was reported that he had one or more e-cigarette batteries in his pants pocket which sparked a small fire while he was arguing, of all things, an arson case.

With a quick dash to the men’s room the situation was brought under control and the lawyer is said to have returned to the courtroom with only a singed pocket to claim as damages.  It was further reported that the episode caused the attorney to quit using e-cigarettes.

Wednesday, January 11, 2017

A Better Person Than Most


When the name appeared in an online news feed this week, we recognized it immediately, even though the name had otherwise not been in the news for quite some time.

Steven McDonald.

The Steven McDonald who, as a New York City police officer in 1986, was shot by a 15-year-old assailant, rendering McDonald paralyzed from the neck down.

The Steven McDonald who, as someone confined to a wheelchair and requiring the help of a respirator to breathe, publicly forgave his assailant and who stated that if people wished to receive forgiveness, they had to show it to others.

The Steven McDonald whose son, Conor, born six months after the shooting, is today a sergeant with the NYPD and represents the fourth generation of the family to serve in the department.

Steven McDonald died this week, following a heart attack.  He was 59.

The Steven McDonald whose dedication, courage, and indomitable spirit made this wheelchair-bound man stand taller than most able-bodied people.

Thursday, November 10, 2016

Rapid Repeat Offender

Earlier this week, a local police department arrested an individual twice in the same day for essentially the same offense.

The first arrest occurred shortly after noon when an off-duty police officer spotted what he believed was a drug transaction involving a person in a white Volkswagen Jetta.  A patrol officer pulled over the Jetta and found several hypodermic needles and a bag with heroin residue in the car.  The driver was then issued summonses for possession of heroin paraphernalia and possession of a hypodermic needle, and released.

Only a few hours later, while conducting surveillance of known heroin traffickers, members of the Selective Enforcement Team spotted the driver of a white Volkswagen Jetta – whom they later determined to be the same individual arrested earlier in the day – meeting with one of their surveillance subjects.  When officers stopped the Volkswagen this time, they found that the driver had ten wax folds of heroin.

This time he was charged with possession of heroin and possession of heroin paraphernalia, and this time he was lodged in the County Jail.

There is, many assert, an epidemic of heroin use in the suburban region in which these arrests occurred.   That an arrest would not deter someone from continuing to seek heroin in the same town in the same car on the same afternoon only underscores that assertion.

Tuesday, October 18, 2016

Hoon Once and Start Walking

Not very many Americans are familiar with the word “hoon” and the verb, “hooning.”  Hoon is a term with its roots in Australia and New Zealand, and today it refers to anyone who engages in loutish, anti-social behavior.  Hooning, then, is the act of behaving like a hoon, or being, in another permutation of the word, a hoonigan – a verbal mash-up of hoon and hooligan.

Hooning today is a word used predominantly in reference to driving.  Reckless driving, driving a noisy vehicle, performing burnouts, that sort of thing.  While such behavior is anti-social by the standards of modern society, it like many anti-social acts is celebrated in popular culture.  There is a series of YouTube “Hoonigan” videos featuring the admittedly-impressive vehicle-control skills of rally driver Ken Block, and every weekend such behavior is also seen in the victory burnouts performed by NASCAR drivers here in the US.


But back in Australia, hooniganism on the public roads reached a point where the authorities found it necessary to pass what they freely term “anti-hooning laws.”  And these laws have teeth: Once charged with three hooning offenses, one would have one’s vehicle confiscated.  But under the latest revisions of the anti-hoon laws in Australia this past summer, it could take just a single hooning charge to lose one’s car.

A single hooning offense in a school zone could result in the driver losing his or her car, as could a first offense of speeding by more than 90km/h over the limit.  And when you lose your car, you truly lose it.  There will be no getting it back upon payment of a fine or completion of community service or jail time.  Roadworthy cars are auctioned off, while unroadworthy vehicles are sold for scrap.  Profits are directed to road safety programs.

Under the previous three-hoons-and-you’re-out laws, police figures reported that more than 2000 cars were confiscated in 2015 and since 2014 more than 900 vehicles have been auctioned off for more than $1 million.

Twenty-four covert “hoon cameras” monitored by police at strategic locations were proposed with the updated laws, to help with enforcement and lead to more confiscations.

We’re not close to having such confiscatory legislation here in the US, but if vehicular hooniganism should increase, it is not unreasonable to expect legislation to be proposed to combat such a rise.



Thursday, August 4, 2016

News Headline of the Week

From the home page of a regional newspaper yesterday:

Man Driving Naked with Open Beer Crashes into Five Cars

As the saying goes, you can’t make this stuff up.

Not surprisingly, the driver failed a field sobriety test.  He was then charged with driving while intoxicated, reckless driving, and operating a vehicle with an open container of alcohol.  Either there was no statute readily-applicable to his sartorial choice, or the officers on the scene chose the more expeditious route: A cover-up.