Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Ya Think?

Here’s one for Jay Leno’s "Headlines" feature. In our local newspaper this week appeared the following headline:

Bearded Man Steals Razors

The accompanying article reported that "a tall, burly, bearded man" stole $658 worth of razors and blades from a nearby Walgreen’s store.

The article explained that the man cased the place for several minutes before filling a shopping basket with the shaving supplies and placing the basket near the front door. He then went through the security detector gate, reached around the gate and grabbed his loot, so as to evade the anti-theft alarm system.

It was further stated that police are looking for a 6-foot 3- or 4-inch man with a large frame, who drives a silver Honda. The article then concluded with this howler:

"He may or may not have a beard at this time."

Friday, April 8, 2011

Shop with the Stars

From the Police Blotter:

A discount-store employee asked for the sheriff office’s help in getting a woman out of his store. She had been there for several hours and said she was waiting for George Clooney and Pete Townshend.